baD kARmA INk

I must be subconsciously rebelling against Christmas music. I cringe when I hear it. I change the channel when those fucking GPS commercials come on. I try and get the hell out o the store if they are playing Jingle Bells.  The incessant cheeriness of it gets to me. Don’t get me wrong, hope, love, happiness, it’s all good, but, well, it just seems fake.

And it is.

Commercialism, toys, TV specials, it’s all fake. Hell, even the traditions are fake; bastardizations of  bastardizations of solstice festivals of numerous cultures coming together to make plastic trees and pumpkin spice flavored instant cappuccino.

I think we need to put the pagan back in Christmas, and I don’t mean those touchy-feely pagans.  No I mean blood orgy and human sacrifice kinds of pagans. I want the those Salvation Army buckets filled with blood, not spare change. I want to see snow discolored by body fluids.  I want to hear screams of pain. I want BRUTALITY!!!

That’s probably why I’m listening to Dethklok.

The fictional band and subject of Metalocalypse is about as far as you can get from the synthetic Christmas season.  There is nothing nice about their dark and often hilarious death metal. I mean, songs like “Dethharmonic”, “Hatredcopter”, and “Go Forth and Die” are about as far away from “White Christmas” as you can get.  It’s the perfect cure for that nagging seasonal cheeriness.

Course, I haven’t seen their Christmas special yet…